Confidence Isn’t a Feeling Performers Wait For. It’s a Skill They Train for.

Many performers, especially singers and actors, grow up believing that confidence is something you either have or you don’t.

That some people are simply born confident, while others are more prone to self-doubt, stage fright, or performance anxiety.

And this belief is one of the biggest obstacles performers face, particularly during audition season.

Because confidence is not a feeling performers wait for.
It’s a skill you can train.

Why is Confidence difficult to find?

When performers talk about wanting more confidence, what they often mean is:

• “I don’t want to feel nervous before auditions.”

• “I want to stop feeling overwhelmed.”

• “I want to feel calm and self-assured when I perform.”

But for singers and actors, confidence rarely shows up as only a feeling.

If you were asked to describe a confident performer, you probably wouldn’t describe how they feel internally.

You would describe what they do:

• how they enter the audition room

• how they take up space onstage

• how they speak or sing with intention

• how they recover after a mistake

• how they keep going after rejection

Confidence is not the absence of fear. You can feel fear and still feel confident in your abilities. That’s why focusing on the feeling isn’t a helpful viewpoint.

The key to confidence is focusing on the DOING, not the BEING.

The Confidence Myth: Feeling Confident Before Taking Action

Many performers believe the process looks like this:

Feel confident → Take action → Perform well

In reality, confidence develops in the opposite order:

Take action → Gather evidence → Build confidence

The most confident singers and actors don’t wake up feeling confident and then decide to take risks.

They take action despite nerves, and those actions give them evidence that they can:

• tolerate discomfort

• manage performance anxiety

• recover from mistakes

• navigate rejection and uncertainty

That evidence builds self-trust.

And self-trust is confidence.

Confidence for Performers Is Built Through Evidence, Not by “Faking It Till You Make It”

Confidence doesn’t come from pretending you’re fearless or trying to convince yourself you’re confident.

In fact, “fake it till you make it” often backfires for performers, because the body and nervous system recognize inauthenticity.

Confidence is built by:

• doing difficult things

• reflecting on what went well

• learning from what didn’t

• proving to yourself that you can handle pressure

This is why confidence for performers is best understood as a trainable mental skill, not a personality trait.

A Simple Question That Builds Confidence in Real Time:

When I work with singers and actors experiencing performance anxiety or stage fright, one of the most helpful questions we explore is:

“What would the most confident version of me do?”

This question works because it shifts focus away from:

• how anxious you feel

• whether you’re “ready enough”

• whether you’ll get the outcome you want

And redirects attention toward:

• what’s within your control

• what action would build self-belief

• what step moves you forward today

Confidence grows through choice, not certainty.

Stage Fright and Confidence Can Coexist

One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that nervousness means you lack it.

That’s simply not true.

Stage fright and audition anxiety are normal responses to:

• being seen

• being evaluated

• caring deeply about your work

Confidence for actors and singers is not the absence of nerves.

Confidence is trusting your ability to perform, adapt, and respond even when nerves are present.

When performers learn mental skills to regulate their nervous system and work with anxiety instead of fighting it, confidence becomes much more accessible.

Confidence Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait

Confidence for performers isn’t something you either possess or lack.

It’s something you practice:

• by taking action when it feels uncomfortable

• by reflecting on performances without shame

• by noticing strengths alongside growth edges

• by building routines that support mental and emotional regulation

Over time, these practices compound, just like physical training.

The next time you feel self-conscious before a performance, audition, rehearsal, or callback, ask yourself:

What would the most confident version of me do?

Then start there.

Because confidence isn’t waiting for fear to disappear.
It’s learning to move forward with it.