negative self-talk as an actor or musician: how to combat negativity bias as a creative

As a coach who works primarily with performers and musicians, I can’t tell you how often I hear clients easily list all the things they did wrong after a performance or audition.

But when I ask what went well? Silence.

So, why does this happen?

We’re trained to find the flaws

From a young age, school teaches us to be critical and focus on what needs “fixing.”
And while this mindset helps us grow technically as artists, it also trains the brain to look for what’s wrong rather than what’s strong.

That works great for improving your craft, but not for building confidence.
When you can’t see your wins, it’s nearly impossible to feel grounded or resilient.

The science: Negativity bias

If you’ve ever burned your hand on a hot plate, your brain remembers not to touch it again.
This is because our nervous system is wired to prioritize danger memories to keep us safe. Psychologists call this the negativity bias.

In performance terms, your brain remembers the auditions that stung: the cracked note, the awkward feedback, the moment you froze, because it sees them as “threats” to avoid next time.
That’s why those moments feel more vivid than your successes.

But when you only replay the bad moments, your brain starts believing that’s the whole story.
It stops recalling the evidence that you can do well… and that’s when confidence starts to crumble.

The good news: You can retrain your brain

The ability to notice what’s good is a skill, not a personality trait.
With awareness and intentional practice, you can rebalance your perception and teach your brain to register the positive with equal weight.

Try these small but powerful shifts:
✨ Bring awareness — When your inner critic speaks up, gently acknowledge it. (“My brain is focusing on what went wrong because it’s trying to keep me safe.”)
✨ Reflect on wins — After each performance, write down three things that went well, no matter how small.
✨ Practice gratitude — Gratitude journaling has been shown to rewire neural pathways toward optimism and resilience.
✨ Revisit positive memories — Mentally replay moments of pride or joy; this strengthens those neural connections and helps regulate the nervous system.

Over time, these habits help your brain create balance, giving just as much power to your strengths, your growth, and your joy as it does to your mistakes.

Confidence doesn’t come from ignoring what went wrong. It comes from learning to see the whole picture.
You’re not just the sum of your flaws — you’re the artist who shows up, learns, and grows with every performance.